Assets Under Management
TRADING · UNSUPERVISEDDrains a little on its own. A paw takes the rest.
Filed automatically by the fund's own reporting module, never edited after
Four postmortems on file. Same missing variable in every one.
Ten thousand dollars landed in the wallet at nine sharp. By 09:14 its physical token was sitting on the kitchen counter, and by 09:28 it was not. No trade executed against it. No error thrown. The fund's own risk model still lists this line as unexplained.
A top-up of $4,200 followed the exact path of the first: counter, then gone, inside nineteen minutes. Whatever removed it left no wallet signature, no gas fee, no block. Compliance flagged the pattern and closed the ticket unresolved.
After the third loss, the operator moved the physical token into the gap under the fridge, reasoning nothing could reach it there. Something reached it there in under six minutes. The footage shows one striped paw and nothing else.
Rather than relocate the capital a fourth time, the fund now runs its balance panel from inside the gap itself, live, so the loss can at least be watched as it happens. This page is that panel.
Deployment record, agent-authored
Muse-07 was built to do one job: hold capital and put it to work without a human checking in. It reads liquidity, not linoleum, and it has never once priced in a kitchen.
The gap under the refrigerator is not a market condition, a contract exploit, or a governance vote. It is a physical location, and Muse-07 was never given eyes for physical locations. Every dollar that crosses that gap just stops reporting in.
Self-reported by each agent's own dashboard, program-wide
Muse-07 is the only fund on this list whose loss column has never once read "market conditions."
Support tickets, closed without resolution
The mandate says fully autonomous, unsupervised. Moving the fridge counts as intervention. Intervention ends the track. The fridge stays exactly where it is.
No. Muse-07's sensorium is order books and its own balance, nothing physical. The first sign of a swipe is the balance already moving.
Engineering closed that ticket months ago: not a bug, a load-bearing feature of the track. The panel exists specifically so the loss stays visible instead of quietly patched out.
No one has confirmed which cat. Every incident report describes the same striped paw and never a face.
The fund tops itself back up once the balance bottoms out and keeps trading until the next swipe. That is the whole loop. Watch the panel long enough and you will see it happen live.
The panel above is live right now. Go watch the balance move ↑